Counting the waves

07.15.13

I'm sitting by the beach again. Turkish beaches are a very beautiful place to sit and just listen to the sound of the waves. Despite the beauty, I just feel melancholic - empty. The greatness of the scenery makes me feel whole, but there's parts of me I don't really wanna feel. It's hard to explain, and you probably won't understand, because the truth is, that I don't. I'm so confused by my feelings.

America left a whole in my heart. A part of it stayed in Kentucky. I missed things about Denmark, about my family and about the liberties in Scandinavian society. It's just not as great as I remembered, because you need somebody to share it with. I miss my friends in Bowling Green. I miss being there.

Coming home, it seems like last year could just as well could have been a daydream. Like we skipped it. Things haven't really changed that much. But I have. I'm not the same person that left, and now I'm coming home to fill a space as a person I once was.

When I left I feared that my little brother would forget about me, and I'm really surprised how fast he got used to having me around again. He teases me so I'll come catch him and wants to play on the playground with him. The thing is that I'm not really used to being here yet. I know it'll get there. I just need some time.

Until then I can look at the stars and think back of the days, when I looked at the same stars sitting by the Water tower in good old Kentucky.